Memorable Moments

Memorable Moments

As far back as I can remember I knew I wanted to have kids.  Yes, plural...kids.  Not just one kid, I wanted a bunch, and I wanted to fill their childhoods with memorable moments that they would remember when they had kids of their own.
I remember I was about 9 years old when we were moving from Quebec back to Toronto.  My mom had given me the task of packing my toys and books, and getting rid of anything that I didn't want any more.  It was funny because at the age of 9 I had already stopped playing with toys.  I was a tomboy.  We had a creek in the backyard to catch frogs and a field one block away to explore in.  I didn't need toys anymore.  I was surrounded by nature in this small town at the base of the Laurentian Mountains.  I played with the kids in the neighborhood and only had to go home when the street lights came on. It was a different world for parents.  No car seats to wrestle with.  No safety helmets for biking.  No cell phones.  Today, you couldn't pay me a million dollars to let my kids run wild like I did.  I want them wearing their helmets when they bike.  I want them in their car seats for as long as possible.  And I want to know where they are...all of the time...so they all have cell phones.  I really don't know how parents coped without cell phones.

After I had finished sorting all of my belongings, my Dad saw two neatly packed boxes.  One was marked "LITTLE KID TOYS" and the other "LITTLE KID BOOKS."  He asked if he should get rid of them.  I told him that I was keeping them for my children.  I was 9 years old and I already knew that I was having children, and that I wanted to save my toys and books for them.  These toys and books had special meaning and memories for me and I wanted to share them with my children.  I looked forward to it.

My Dad didn't actually believe that I meant when I said, so he gave my books and toys away.   A few years later I found my books at my younger cousin's house.  I was thrilled...at first.  When I went to look at my books I noticed that the pages had been scribbled all over and others had been ripped out.  When I had packed the books they had been in pristine condition, even though I had reread them numerous times.  It felt worse to see what my cousin had done to the books, than having them given away in the first place.

Many, many years later I was in an old book store with my boyfriend (pssst...he later became my husband) and I happened to see the set of books that I had put away for my (future) children over a dozen years before.  I was thrilled to see them but we were heading out to meet some friends, so we couldn't buy them that evening or we'd be stuck dragging them around all night.  We planned to pick them up a few days later, but sadly they were gone.  But not for long.  I received the books for my birthday!

We have read the whole set of books to each of our four kids, and passed along a memory that is infinitely better because it not only belongs to my childhood, but also that it was made possible because of my absolutely wonderful husband.

Pro-Active Parenting

Where Can you Buy Unusual Gifts?

Where can you buy unusual and unique gifts?  Where can you buy a medieval helmet?  Where can you find a onesie pajama for a 15 year old?  Where can you buy a Sonic Screwdriver for the 10th Doctor Who?  Where do you go when you want to find a Jester Car Antenna Topper?  How do I find a replacement for a "lovey"  that was left on a bus?  

My go-to place for buying interesting and unique gifts is the internet.  I have been purchasing products online since 2001.  I started off with Ebay and I would look at Feedback scores and read comments to see if the sellers seemed trustworthy.  I could learn a lot about a seller this way.   In the beginning I only paid for my auctions with money order so there was no chance of having my credit information stolen.  I was a victim of identity theft in 1994 and I never wanted to go through that again.  I was extremely cautious.  As Paypal became more popular sellers stopped accepting money orders, so I started using Paypal regularly in 2007.  I have been pretty lucky because I only had a few transactions go awry.  If an item never arrived and  the seller wouldn't respond to my concerns I would open a dispute.  Paypal worked quickly and would refund my money in a relatively short time.  It has been wonderful because I feel that my credit is secure and if something goes wrong Paypal will work with me.  Feeling secure with online payments has allowed me to branch out from Ebay and start buying directly from online merchants. 

I have poked around on Amazon over the last few years but it was difficult because there weren't many sellers who would ship to Canada without charging exorbitant shipping charges...if they shipped to Canada at all.  Just a few weeks ago I tried to buy a Monty Python watch for my older son, and Amazon said they had several in stock.  When I clicked through none of the store-fronts had any in stock or they wouldn't deliver to Canada. It was very disappointing. 

Over the last few years I have purchased directly from several online retailers.  Recently I have purchased from Etsy, Best Buy, Future Shop, and a few other online stores.  In general I have had very good experiences.  I make sure to do a bit of research on the companies and read reviews about their customer service.  If people consistently say that they can't get help or make returns, then I don't buy from them.  There was one purchase that I made several years ago where I regretted not doing my research.  The seller took three months to ship it and it arrived a month after Christmas.  The warning signs were there, but I disregarded them because I was desperate for the item.  

My preference is to buy from Canadian retailers because the shipping charges are more reasonable, there are never any extra International charges tacked on, and returns are so much easier.  I also like to buy local and support Canadian artisans and small retailers.  

Buying online can be scary, but if you do your research, and purchase from reputable retailers you should be fine.  And when you get your packages in the mail, it's just like Christmas!

...until you have to rewrap them!

Buying Gifts Online

I have been buying gifts online since 2001 because I wanted to buy my children unique gifts for Christmas and their birthdays.  I started off with Ebay and I would look at Feedback scores and read comments to see if the sellers seemed trustworthy.  I could learn a lot about a seller this way.   In the beginning I only paid by money order so there was no chance of having my credit information stolen.  I was a victim of identity theft in 1994 and I didn't want to go through that again, so I was extremely cautious.  As Paypal became more popular sellers stopped accepting money orders, so I started using Paypal in 2007.  I have been pretty lucky because I only got ripped off a few times and if the seller wouldn't refund my money I would open a dispute, and Paypal would refund my money.  Paypal has been wonderful because I feel that my credit is secure and if something goes wrong they will work with me.

As my confidence grew with online purchasing, I started branching out and tried buying directly from online merchants.  I poked around on Amazon a few years ago but it was difficult because there weren't many sellers who would ship to Canada without charging exorbitant shipping charges...if they shipped to Canada at all.  I also found that the third party Amazon sellers would often say that they had an item in stock, but when it actually came to shipping the item, they didn't actually have it.   Over the last few years I have purchased directly from several onine retailers, and in general I have had very good experiences.  I make sure to do a bit of research on the companies and read reviews about their customer service.  My preference has been to buy from Canadian retailers because the shipping charges are more reasonable, there are never any extra International charges tacked on, and returns are so much easier.

Buying online can be scary, but if you do your research, and purchase from reputable retailers you should be fine. Keep in mind that if it sounds too good to be true...it probably isn't!

I Love Online Christmas Shopping

It's 3 o'clock in the morning and the kids are all in bed.  I am staring at the ceiling in my bedroom and I can't sleep.  If only it was sugar plums that were dancing around in my head.  Sadly my mind is a buzz about homework, what's for dinner tomorrow, how do I get the kids out on time in the morning and thoughts of what to get my kids for Christmas.

I give up!  I can't sleep.  What should I do?  I could read but I am peeved at the current book I am reading.  I could do laundry but the washer and dryer are so loud.  So I head to my good old friend, my computer.  I check my mail and I see that my mailbox is filled with coupons, offers and flyers from retailers.  I start glancing through them when I see that one of them is advertising watches.  I remember that my son had asked me for a wind-up pocket watch for Christmas.  I had been through three whole malls and had no luck at all.  I found pocket watches, but they were all battery operated...and they were all quite expensive.

I open up Google and type in "wind-up pocket watch."  Instantly I have a few thousand watches pop up.  I glance through the first two pages and I see that there are several on Amazon and Ebay, but I check the independent retailers first.  As I check these first sites out I see that there are so many options for wind-up watches...antique, steampunk, polished, skeleton, etc.   I get excited.  I never knew that there were so many different types of pocket watches.  I realize that I won't just have to settle for whatever I can find...I will be able to find the perfect pocket watch.  I am so thrilled.  I had spent a whole day futilely searching three shopping malls without any success, and within just a couple of minutes the possibilities grew immensely.

I took me about half an hour to pick out the perfect wind-up pocket watch for my son.  I purchased it for approximately 1/10th of the cost of the battery operated watches that I saw in the mall, that weren't even half as nice.  With that huge feat accomplished I was able to get back to bed and get some well-deserved shut-eye.

I saved time and money and found a present that was far better than anything I could have found in a physical store and I was able to do it all in my pajamas.  Now all I have to do is find a Sonic Screwdriver for my younger son and a sock monkey onesie for my daughter.  I won't waste time looking for those in stores and I will head straight to the internet and I will have my Christmas shopping all done before the beginning of December!

Giving Thanks Isn't Just for Thanksgiving

In Canada we had our Thanksgiving a few weeks ago, so we are midway between Canadian Thanksgiving and American Thanksgiving.  I thought that this would be the perfect time to share a few things that I am thankful for.

In our family we each take one major holiday to host in our home.  My mother takes care of Easter.   My mother-in-law does Christmas Eve at her home (Hungarians celebrate on the day before Christmas so it leaves my husband and I alone with our kids on Christmas Day).  And I take Thanksgiving.  It works out well because we never have to worry about leaving anyone out, or trying to work someone in.  We have standing invitations to all family members on both my side of the family and my husband's side. So, I guess the first thing I am thankful for is having everything pre-arranged so no one gets left out during the holidays.  Hurray for being pro-active!

I know that this is an unusual arrangement because I have never heard of both sides of a family coming together on all of the holidays and celebrations, but I am so lucky that my parents get along so well with my in-laws.  My mother and mother-in-law are genuine friends and they even talk on the phone weekly.  So, the fact that my parents and my husband's parents are friends is number two on my list of things to be thankful for.

Number three on my list of things that I am thankful for, is that my parents get along even though they are divorced.  They have been divorced for about 20 years, but they have come to terms with their parting of ways, and have an odd sort of relationship.  They are almost...friends.  They flirt with each other, and make jokes with each other.  Occasionally my mother does lose it and she will let fly with a searing remark, but my Dad usually just laughs it off.  It has been great for the children, because this means that my kids don't have to choose a grandparent for special events or school shows and they see that adults can still have a relationship even though they aren't together anymore.

I am thankful for so many more things and I could probably go on indefinitely and bore you to tears, but these were directly related to making our Thanksgiving so much nicer for everyone involved.  Oh wait, I guess I have one more thing that I should share...I am thankful that I served another great turkey.  See that picture of the turkey at the top? That was my turkey.  Looks pretty good, eh?  

This is Halloween, This is Halloween

I have to say that the best thing about Halloween are the families that go all out, and decorate their homes like an amusement park.  You know the houses...the ones that your kids tell you that you have to visit on Halloween night.  Even though the kids are exhausted, and even though the people might not be handing out candy anymore, we still visit the best homes in the neighborhood at the end of our rounds.  There was one this year that was quite outstanding and it all happened over night.  On the 30th of October there were merely a few fall leaves on their front yard.  By 6pm on October 31st, it was this...

They built a full fence around their property with weather worn barn-boards.  They had corns stalks, hay bales and hand carved pumpkins everywhere.  There were scarecrows and grim reapers.  They even had an industrial fog machine that gave the whole property an eerie atmosphere once it got dark and the lights went on.  My children just loved this house.  It was their favorite house of the night.  And I have to say that it was mine too.  The people who live there have been doing this since they moved into the neighborhood six years ago, and all of the kids in the area look forward to see what they have planned every Halloween.  You can see how much this family likes Halloween by how much care they put into decorating their house for Halloween.  

The families that go to the expense and effort to decorate their homes to make Halloween night a memorable event for the kids, are what really makes Halloween one of my favorite holidays.  On the flip side, there are the Halloween Grinches that really can take the fun out of the evening.  Now before you react, please understand that I am not talking about people who just don't celebrate Halloween.  I am perfectly ok with that.  I am talking about the vertically challenged barbarians that go running about on Halloween without a care for protocol.   Really?  There are only a few simple rules...

1. Wear a costume. This is non negotiable. 

2. Ring the doorbell once and only once. You should not be trying to play Bohemian Rhapsody on the bell

3.  Greet the person who opens the door.  You can say "Happy Halloween"  or "Trick or Treat" or even just "hello"...don't just open your bag and grunt

4.  After the person puts the candy in your bag you say "thank you" because you are after all getting free candy

I don't know if I am just getting crabbier as I get older, but I have been developing some pretty well-defined pet peeves about Halloween...  

• It feels weird going to a house that has their front lights on, but they don't answer the door.  If your front porch light is on, we will ring your bell.  
• I really don't like it when to Teens come to my door without costumes.  I don't mind giving candy to teens, but teens please at least attempt to make sort of costume, or at least give me a song and dance.  
• I am bugged by parents who carry their infants door to door and neither is wearing a costume.  This is purely a candy grab.  Not nice.  
• And last but not least...children who don't bother to say "thank you." Last year I only had 2 children out of about 50 say thank you.  This year none.  \

Halloween should be fun, but that doesn't preclude some common sense with a dash of manners.  How were kids in your area?  How many thank you's did you get?

Goodbye October

As we head into November, and into the colder weather, I wanted to say a little goodbye to October.  In Canada we celebrate Thanksgiving in October, before Halloween, so for me, Thanksgiving is the ramp up to Halloween.  In my family I always host Thanksgiving...because my turkeys are blissfully awesome.  I make a rice stuffing that is always the first thing finished.  The house is filled to the brim with relatives from Grandparents to children, After thanks is given, the turkey is finished and leftovers are put away, I pull out the cobwebs and creepy decorations.

On Halloween we all get dressed up, including my husband and myself. I have a full cedar closet filled with costumes for children to adults, unicorns to zombie, Cleopatra to Cowboy.  You get the idea!  We like costumes.  Well, probably more specifically, I like costumes, and by osmosis my children love dressing up as well.  We visit all of our neighbors, friends, and family.  The kids are exhausted by the end of the night and they usually flop into bed without a grumble, 

I have to say that October is probably my favorite month of the year and I wanted to share a few things that I love about it.

• Leaves changing colours
• Hot days a thing of the past
• Pulling out fall clothes
• Pumpkin spice lattes
• Apple picking
• Waking up to foggy mornings
• Kids working in a good school routine
• Walks in the forest
• Seeing the squirrels getting ready for winter
• Shushing my feet through the fallen leaves
• Carving pumpkins
• Cardigans
• Decorating the house for Halloween
• Mulled apple cider
• Thanksgiving (for Canadians)
• Cranberry sauce
• Pumkin everything
• No more mosquitos
• Picking Halloween costumes
• Pumpkin patches

I would love to hear what you like about October or what you are thankful for.